Four Tips for Finalizing Your Wedding Design When You and Your Partner Have Drastically Different Styles

Neither of you should feel like you're compromising on what you want.

cara david wedding couple sitting on steps above coast
Photo: Gianni Di Natale

Picture a scene in which you're having dinner with your partner. You decide to pitch your well-considered idea of hiring a vinyl-spinning motown DJ to play your wedding only to have your fiancé look at you aghast declaring, "But my friends will only dance to pop music!" Ironically, there's no need to cue the record scratch sound effect here, as you probably guessed your opposite styles would collide in surprising ways throughout the planning of your wedding.

While it can feel, at times, like the life-altering commitment of getting married is a thing that could drive your opposite styles into overdrive, finding ways to compromise is one of the key life lessons you'll learn while planning your big day. If you and your partner have drastically different styles and aren't sure how to reconcile those divergent ideas, here are some tips for designing a wedding you'll both love.

Select a venue you both like and let that dictate the wedding style.

Your venue is a major contributing factor to your wedding style, as it really sets the cues when it comes to the scope and formality of your big day. For instance, if you're hosting your wedding ceremony in the courtyard at a modern art museum followed by a reception in the galleries, your wedding style might have a minimalist aesthetic that allows the museum's artwork to take center stage. Though you and your partner may have a harder time selecting a venue than partners with similar styles, once you find your compromise, you can rely on the venue's atmosphere to set your wedding style.

Have a destination wedding.

Having a destination wedding might not sound like the easiest solution to any wedding dilemma, but the reason this could help when you have two different styles is that the place you choose really sets a clear tone. As an example, you might find that a tropical wedding on a beach in Mexico equally appeals to you both. By narrowing your venue options to a specific location, you can start to make decisions that revolve around celebrating the setting. That might mean that your menu is a feast of local flavors while your floral arrangements have a beachy, tropical style that further adds to that relaxed, only-in-Mexico environment.

Divvy up your priorities and trust each other to manage specific tasks.

Dividing your tasks and decision-making is another way to approach your differing styles while you're planning a wedding. If your partner cares passionately about the food and drinks, let him or her spearhead all the catering decisions and elements. If your biggest priority is floral design, take that on as something you can manage independently. You'll still need to communicate clearly about the decisions you're making so the wedding feels cohesive, but having these conversations can be a lot easier when you know one of you cares more deeply about the subject at hand and has done their research and due diligence in presenting their case.

Hire a wedding planner, stylist, or designer you both trust.

Some couples need to have a third voice adding to the conversation when it comes to style decisions, and that's perfectly okay. A professional wedding planner, stylist, or designer can act as a person who takes both of your seemingly disconnected ideas and blends them together in a way that's playful, elegant, and a true testament to who you are as a couple. As long as you're both able to articulate what your priorities are, what you'd really like the wedding to feel like, and you can trust your vendor team whole-heartedly, they can work with you to create an environment that feels cohesive and personal.

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